my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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