U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
