I think I am morally bankrupt
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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