Even the bartender felt bad for me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
