Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
