Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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