i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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