Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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