is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
