IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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