it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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