She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
