i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
