She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
