Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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