Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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