I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
