im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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