yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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