I faked an abortion last night.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
