I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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