summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
