there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i need an iv and a liver transplant
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
