I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
