SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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