He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
