The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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