I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
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It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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