they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
