matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
