did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
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Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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