Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
