She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
