This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
