oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
