At least make sure they are 18
Why
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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