I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
