worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
