The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I had to cum in my sink.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
