so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
