I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
