I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
