We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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