Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
