Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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