apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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