I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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