I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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