Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
