We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
