come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
