i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
