Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I deserve this hangover.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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