I just made out with a guy for $7.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
