thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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