I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT