i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.