Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now