There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.