Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
