Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Randomize
