my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
