how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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