Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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