When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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